Here's what to watch for:
* The frustration of the will
* A sense of futility and detachment
* Apathy and indifference after a defeat
* Feeling ineffective, weak, or exhausted
* A tendency to become easily agitated or triggered
* The feeling of being forced backward
* Giving up what's been gained or no longer desiring something you fought hard for
* The wisdom of defeat, failure, and frustration
* The education of the will
* The startling realization that you don't care, and that it feels good!
* Finding a more peaceful way to satisfy your desires, achieve your goals, or make your point
* Restraint and discretion
* A healthy level of detachment, not knocking the front door in when the back or side door is wide open
* Patience, tolerance, and observation get the job done
* The need to fight without being "Anti"
* Letting go of grudges or harsh feelings or opinions
* The feeling of being out of control, of choice being taken away
* Shaking a fist at anyone who suggests being calmer, surrendered, and accepting
* Actions not leading to what was intended
* Strong actions get strong responses...not always good
* Easy to escalate, easy to deflate
With Mars in Saturn's airy, masculine domicile, along with the south node, there is a feeling of loss, frustration or exhaustion, surrender, and detachment in the air. It's easy for our feelings of alienation and anger, frustration and defeat to create a simultaneous feeling of apathy and detachment. In some ways, this is this inevitable cooling off period that comes for all of us, at one point or another. We are constantly living in the midst of mighty streams of fluctuating opposites, and we often mistake ourselves as the directors of the forces of nature when in fact we are more regularly the puppets. To become conscious, to locate our actual agency, we have to become aware of our awareness and wrestle it free from the whims of our material nature. When we do this we are usually met with the overwhelming reality of how weak we really are. It is incredibly difficult to stay awake and aware, but, as the saying goes, "Where attention goes, our energy flows!" Our will is something that is ultimately a servant. It serves our awareness, and yet, paradoxically, while we are in a body we need our will to help us concentrate and develop the ability to stay awake and aware. The more awake and aware we become, the more natural and effortless it is to direct our awareness toward the higher truth, which is the love of the divine.
Most of us live our lives as though our whim is our free will, and so because we never take the time to learn how to concentrate, we remain slaves to the most predictable and cyclical forces. It is a perfect irony that it requires such tremendous courage and "will," to find the secret path home within the forest of these ever willful forces. Faith, after all, isn't just an abstract set of ideas that we trust to launch us home from the seat of our intellect. No. Faith is the way that belief actively inspires us to courageously direct our will, again and and and again, "I will not quit," toward the ongoing realization of our faith, which perfects itself in loving service to the divine.
Prayer: Teach us to find the courage to concentrate, to find the will to awaken, and finally the humility to surrender enough so that we might become your faithful servants.