The Love Song of Saturn and the Tail of the Dragon
* Love will never spare us the beauty of separation.
* Love will never be satisfied by discipline and practice.
* Love will not be gained through controlling.
* Love is not a perfection of self.
* Love is not about changing others.
* Love is not about changing the world.
* Love is not about perfecting the world.
* Love is not about personal power, worth, merit, or belief.
* Love is not about original sin because sin is without origin.
* Love is not about ultimate redemption because redemption has a beginning but it has no end.
* Love is not about one religion or one way being better than every other way.
* Love is the way.
* It's okay to want to love but not know how because admitting this is love.
* It's okay to think about love but not know how to embody it because this is love too.
* It's okay to practice at love because love takes time to grow and to become real, and an intention to love can turn into real love in time.
* If we mess up but keep our intention to love divinity, as long as we are real about the mess up, and we don't try to justify it, and as long as we keep our intention and keep trying to love, just keep trying, this is also love.
* Love doesn't keep a ledger of mistakes, instead it learns to love them.
* All love is given and shared between real beings. In love, we are joined. And with love we come to appreciate our separation, too.
* Love is not unspeakable but sometimes its best not to speak about it.
* Love is not impersonal, but sometimes it's quiet or appears to be alone.
* Love is not a great mystery to be known, and yet the greatest mystery is that it is unknown at times, even to itself...this is why with real love, between real beings, the path of intimacy is neverending, and never the same thing twice while always remaining deeply familiar to us. This is why real contentment and real curiosity always accompany love like best friends.
What else can be said? Saturn and the south node may tempt us to believe that love can be found through control, fear, austerity, practice, rigidity, impersonal isolation, and mastery, or hierarchy.... but we all know this just isn't true.
Prayer: Give us eyes to see you in our longing, our hurt, our pain, our loneliness, our isolation, our sorrows, and our desire to escape, to be good, or to exercise control or mastery. Help us to be helplessly, hopelessly, in love with you.
As the Full Moon rises, in a conjunction with Neptune, a meditation on surrender, control, and happiness...
* Neptune is frequently associated with dreams, images, myths, metaphors, and imagination. At the same time, Neptune is the planet of surrender, devotion, and transcendence. Of course, Neptune is also the planet of intoxication, delusions, fantasies, and poison. So why the major dichotomy?
* Because in this world, we are presented with a "pick your poison" dynamic each and every day. Because underlying our very moment by moment existence is the fear of the present, of what is within, of who we are, and of our divine source. Because we have any and every reason to be seized by distractions, reaching out like planetary hands in a conveyor belt above our heads, to avoid the infinite love of the present.
* And so the choice is real. The choice between love and devotion, and intoxication, fantasies, and delusions, is an ever-present question. It is a question that stands in the foreground of our freedom, which we have to locate "within."
* Interestingly, the choice of love and devotion, this choice, made again and again, leads first to sobriety, but then eventually back to intoxication. It's simply that the intoxication of spiritual life is that of love, which is real. Love is the nature of the real world. Of the real self. Of the real self of the self. It is more than intoxicating. It's intoxicating AND real. Because it is love.
* Real sobriety comes when we recognize the power of fantasies. When we recognize the reality of imagination. Of thought. Of the gods. When we recognize that we are so regularly helpless to their mighty currents, then we understand who we are, and where we are. We go from hubris to humility. And it's from that humility that we start to catch even the tiniest glimpse of the real scope and depth and size of the absolute. We come to glimpse that we have never been born and will never die. And we come to wonder, just wonder, about the possibility of calling out, "Hallelujah!"
* So this surrender to divinity, this sense of not being in control, ultimately leads us back to love. To the appropriate use of our free will. It leads us back to praise, wonder, worship, intimacy, service, and love, sweet, love. The love of God that saturates everything, calls to everything, holds everything, gives everything its autonomy, diginity, differences, and unity all at once.
* There is no way to become sober without the living distinction between the real and the unreal. And yet, sobriety is not the goal. Sobriety is the means by which the real may then start to appear, and take us into the most real fantasy of all, which is that of personal and endless love.
* So, as the Full Moon and Neptune come together, I write this brief Psalm. In praise of the magic and mysticism of real sobriety. I would not be here had I not once gotten sober on the material level. Ironically it was a mind-altering plant-teacher from the Amazon who got me there. But it has only been by following the devotional practices learned from those healing experiences, cultivating them over time, that has led from mere sobriety to an interior experience of love and devotion, a real-world of love. I suspect that we are all, ultimately, looking for this world at all times. We want the real thing because we know it is beyond belief amazing.
Prayer: Help us to see your reality, help us to see love, and help us to find sacred sobriety.
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Adam Elenbaas is a professional astrologer and the founder of the Nightlight Astrology School. Adam holds an MA and MFA in English and Creative Writing and is one of the founding writers at RealitySandwich. To learn more about Adam, click here.